Morning update: O'Halloran talked up, other transfer delays, and a defence of hangovers

Morning, brothers. Not only is the week dragging on, but so are our transfer pursuits. Unlike you mere mortals, however, a blogger thinks differently. Competence, stability and routine wins are all nice, but the opposite of all of these things means more than just misery. Where some see an afternoon ruined, others see an opportunity, and the longer this drags on, the more mistakes we make, at least means more hits for us. Content yourself with that while you read this lack of news:

There's still no update on Toumani Diagouraga or Michael O'Halloran

The news yesterday morning was that there was no news, and now there isn't even any news to tell us there isn't any news. The St. Johnstone chairman came out yesterday to say the player wasn't for sale, so ignore any information from the papers. Football chairmen never lie, especially when it comes to transfers. We've not a scooby on whether this is going through today or not, but anything that does happen will appear in our Rangers Transfer News hub.

Ashley criticised over 'abuse of court processes'

Isn't it nice when bad things happen to bad people? In the words of a great man, first they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then Sevco cheat their way to another court victory, it's a disgrace, a masonic conspiracy is keeping the lights on at Ibrokes!!!

Gedion Zelalem recommends Ibrox to fellow Arsenal youngsters

Zelalem has spoken of how much he's enjoying Rangers and would recommend it to Arsenal's other talented youngsters. Maybe they should loan us Olivier Giroud and Laurent Koscielny so we can show them how to actually win a league.

O'Halloran would be a perfect fit for Rangers, says John McDonald

Some fairly straightforward stuff, but be thankful for the small mercies that we don't have gibbering lunatics like Chris Sutton and Charlie Nicholas doing the old ex-player circuit.

Two staunch events

Get those brown brogues polished - not only has the RST dinner been confirmed for the 9th of April - a nice weekend given the Petrofac final is the next day - but there's also this, from the Rangers Youth Development Company, if you want to bask in the lovely glow of the lovely Brian Laudrup while giving your money to a good cause.

North Korea invents hangover-free alcohol

GTBFO applauds this remarkable feat of innovation, and as always likes to see a plucky underdog like North Korea do well for themselves, but wonder whether this is such a good idea. Consequences of bad behaviour aren't to be feared - not just because they stop you going too far, but they can be actively enjoyed. Lying in front of the TV at 7pm wondering if it's about time you brushed your teeth is as much a part of the joys of the weekend as the drinking and partying that preceded it. Much like being ill, it provides a handy excuse to avoid all responsibility and obligations, although people don't treat you quite as nicely. When the hangover cure is finally invented, it will be a sinister presence, marketed like a cough syrup advert. Drug yourself up to the eyeballs and get back to work, you lazy scrounger! Work! Isn't 'Eat, Sleep, Rave, Repeat' just a modern 'Arbeit Macht Frei'? The hangover is necessary and must be defended - indeed, GTBFO enjoys it so much that it's been maintaining the same one since 2011.