Morning, friends. We hope you had a pleasant Burns Night, even those of you who ended up spending part of it in Greenock. In the end, what was mostly a poor game hasn't helped to take the edge off our mostly cold and dreary existence, and waking up with intestines churning whisky and ovine organs still smarting from that red card isn't a good way to start the day. You can cheer yourself up, however, by gawping in amazement at this lack of news.
The BBC has a longer edition of the highlights if you're in the UK, otherwise you'll have to settle for the club's 90-second version, which you'll find on the front page of this very website. Good if you want to recap last night's events, or if you haven't seen them yet because you're Josh Windass.
Rangers linked with Corry Evans
Evans is a reasonable player who could do a good job for us, even if he is a bit of a standard Championship clogger. Unfortunately, the source on this, although it says 'Various', appears to be nothing other than the woeful IbroxNoise site, itself sourced from empty speculation on Twitter. The site claimed his deal was running out at the end of the season, before then realising he'd just signed a new long-term deal. We certainly haven't heard anything in this regard, and it's safe to assume this is total nonsense.
Could Rangers appeal Andy Halliday's red card?
Normally the rules would prevent this, since it was a second yellow and yellow cards can't be appealed, but the Ibrox Loyal Facebook page brought this to our attention, which could set a precedent. To us, it seems unlikely, as their request was based on appealing a red card that led to the yellow card (aye, we know it's early, it's confusing, don't worry) so this probably won't come to anything.
New Healthy Eating Restaurant opens in Glasgow
We didn't want to post this, purely out of a reluctance to grant them publicity, but we've no choice. This is going too far now. Firstly, this is Glasgow, so you can market anything as healthy eating on relative terms if the grease wouldn't make a brick wall translucent when rubbed against it. Secondly - healthy eating, very well - but a gym-themed restaurant? A gym is a place of pain, punishment, clammy red hands and feet chafing against foam and steel, a place to have your physical inferiorities to people you consider scum explored and broadcasted in minute detail. There is nothing pleasurable about it. The notion of it as a venue for eroticism already amazed and appalled us, but for that even more sacred pleasure, food and drink?
The Glasgow dining scene might lack a few dozen Michelin stars, but it could be so much better if we just simply enjoyed it a bit more, and for what it was, like literally every country south of Dover does. Some rare exceptions (Paesano, for instance) wisely follow this, but this Gastro-Nazism is the opposite of everything eating out should be. A cold, hostile environment where pleasure and taste are secondary considerations. A good test for picking restaurants is "where would Gerard Depardieu go?" and this fails as comprehensively as it is possible to do so. And not only that, but they've had the audacity to launch it so close to Whisky Christmas. Glaswegians: your Cereal Café hour has come. Get it shut down.