Steven Gerrard as Rangers manager - the pros and cons

Pro: He’ll get us a higher profile

At the time of reading, you are probably enjoying this fine GTBFO article amidst a deluge of other articles flooding the internet and the airwaves, from Scotland, England, and other places. You can pretty much guarantee that Rangers will never be far from the eyes of world football as long as Gerrard is in charge. It’s certainly going to keep us in the papers, and while having to remind the world that we exist isn’t a great position to be in, it’s pretty exciting in a way.

Con: He’s highly inexperienced

Yes, Steven Gerrard is not a manager. We would be replacing an under-21s manager with an under-18s one, and for all his potential abilities, there is that. What if he can’t make intelligent changes during a game? What if he can’t effectively manage a squad? What if he’s simply a poor coach? The managerial graveyards are littered with former world-class players, and the most in-vogue, up and coming managers in 2018 are often those who have never even played the game to any level. It’s an absurd gamble.

Pro: He should command the respect of the dressing room

It’s no secret that Ibrox has often housed a rebellious dressing room, with players who should know better often turning on managers. But Gerrard’s career is so glittering that it’s unlikely he’ll be unable to inspire respect and obedience. We’re not going to have any Champions League winners in the team - but we’ll have one in the dugout. It’s extremely hard to dismiss his experience and winning mentality if you’re, say, a certain player who might want to go leaking to the press. An older player. Someone who has caused bother before. A bald player, perhaps. Just as a hypothetical example.

Con: He’s literally never managed a football team before

Aye, this is the same as the first point, but sometimes the con is so large that it demands more than one place. He has literally not managed before, and for all his attributes and experience, he might be surprised to find out how tough it is on the other side of the dressing room. He will have to learn extremely fast.

Pro: He should provide some draw

Convincing players to come up to Scotland is usually quite difficult unless they are on excellent terms with the manager or are, as we often weirdly see, homesick for some shitehole like Livingston, or Kilmarnock, or Edinburgh, or Aberdeen, or [insert anywhere that doesn’t appear on the old Strathclyde Regional Council logo on your auld school textbook.] Gerrard should be able to generate a pull that will get players we might not otherwise be able to attract. It won’t entice Mo Salah to swap Merseyside for Govan, but it might just get some outside shots over the line.

Con: HE’S ACTUAL NOT MANAGED EMDY BEFORE, HONEST TO FUCK MAN, HAVE YE ACTUALLY LOST THE RUN OF YERSEL

Yes. Sorry, this is the only con, but it is significant. We wouldn’t sign a striker who had never played football before but had watched quite a lot of it on TV. Why would we do the same for a manager?