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Lunchtime roundup: The NUJ strikes back, Deila a goner and some terrible Morrissey jokes

The Spiers/Haggery furore is about to get vicious, sad news about Ronny Deila, and some terrible Morrissey jokes.

Chris Jackson/Getty Images

Aye, it's another lunchtime roundup, but it's a bumper edition. The end of the week is nigh, tomorrow sees Ibrox turn into a cauldron of emotion at the return of legends such as Boydy, Jig, and Stevie Smith. Thank goodness the days of strikers who fluff chances, ancient veterans being picked and given new contracts again and again, and full-backs who can't defend and are picked solely for their ability to blooter one in from 20 yards every so often are over, eh?

Alright, that one's too harsh even for here. We apologise. Anyway, here's the news:

Rangers could sue Sports Direct

You probably saw this yesterday, but if you didn't, you should, because there's not much in the way of news coming out of the club today and this is one of the most important stories you're likely to see. Dave King's statement lays out the path ahead for the club, and heavily implies not only will we try and end the ridiculous Rangers Retail contract early, but  will also try and recoup the money lost. This could get very interesting.

Support the Unions - no, not that one

GTBFO couldn't help but notice before retiring to bed last night that one Herald journalist to stick his head above the parapet on the continuing Haggerty and Speirs farrago was Neil Cameron, who struck out at a few Celtic fans on Twitter to denounce the two newly-unemployed hacks as "selfish egotists" who were "close to being scabs", and said the NUJ would 'clarify its position' today. Turns out using your union to denounce your fellow members with a pack of lies for no reason other than that you're annoyed that you've made a fool of yourself isn't the best idea...

Grim news for Rangers fans

The hapless floundering of Ronny Deila, pishing tens of millions of pounds and trebles down the drain while Celtic await our glorious return, has been a source of great enjoyment. But how long can it last? Something that struck us was a post from Celtic blogger Paul Brennan and favourite of Peter Lawwell. His continued staunch (?) defence of the hapless Norwegian came to a sudden and abrupt halt after the Aberdeen fiasco, followed by a blog as good as admitting Deila will be gone in he summer. We wonder what could've provoked that?

Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me

On, go on then, just one more. Deila was also in the press defending his side's miserable capitulation, with the odd comment: "Of course I want to be loved as well, as everybody else does." Christ, you know things are bleak when you're turning to Morrissey for inspiration. Get Deila's upcoming covers album in the shops now, featuring "I Started Something I Couldn't Finish", his defence of the Colin Kazim-Richards signing "You're The One For Me, Fatty", his reflections on Celtic's European campaign "November Spawned a Monster", his touching duet with John Collins "If A Ten Ton Truck Crashes Into Us, The Fans Will Rejoice" and a guest appearance from the Celtic choir with "I Want The One I Can't Have" when Lawwell sees David Moyes' wage demands.

Police Scotland to introduce undergraduate degree

GTBFO had heard about this one in the lodge, but can post it now it's made its way into the press. It's exciting stuff, and we have a copy of the list of modules available here. Students will be able to choose from:

  • Cultural awareness programme - A guide to the rich heritage of the West of Scotland and how to arrest people for singing about it
  • Strengths and Limitations of Technological Advancement - Why facial recognition cameras can help arrest football fans but can't possibly be used to stop violent street crime
  • Spatial awareness in Foot Policing - Exactly how far around the corner to hide and how long to wait until the fight is over
  • Transmutability, Relativity and the Law - Why perfectly legal behaviour for Rugby fans is a criminal offence if the suspect has attended a football match in the last twenty years
  • Inter-industry Relations in Modern Policing - Why demanding new draconian laws from willing politicians and newspaper editors is a better preventative measure than actually doing your fucking job

We can only imagine the increase in the calibre of the average Scottish police officer this will result in.