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Morning roundup: New charges in court case, Eck in Africa and Ian Durrant to be demoted - on Football Manager

The morning roundup features updates on Alex McLeish's Egyptian adventure, bad news for Ian Durrant, and how to get blackout drunk in Paris.

Evan Agostini/Getty Images

Morning, brothers. It's a long week ahead, with no Rangers until the St Mirren game at the weekend who annoyingly seem to have found some form in the run-up, and you can't even flick on the Hibs game to see if they'll shite the bed because of diddy teams like Barcelona hogging the TV limelight. At least at the start of the season we had other entertainment - even GTBFO was forced to tune into Efe Ambrose's European Adventure after continued rave reviews, but that seems to have been cancelled for some reason. Still, what's in the news? Maybe something interesting and exciting there, eh? Well, there's a 'new club' debate, some stuff about the ongoing courtcaseandaaaaaaaaaaaaaghgod I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry I ever shouted at you to shoot or called you a set of useless dobbers, Rangers, I won't do it again.

Amaze yourself with how bad things are when we're not playing by checking out the absolute state of this:

Paul Hartley to 'have a chat' with Gary Harkins

Fat fives player Gary Harkins called us a new club, as you may have seen before rolling your eyes and moving on. He's now set to meet Paul Hartley (who is equally rotund these days, it seems) to 'have a chat', which we imagine is like a bullshit Celtic version of 'the talk' where they say how some things just can't be said and they need to be mindful of the oppressive shadow we cast over society at large.

New charges in fraud case

"Charges dropped" was the initial report, but "charges dropped to make room for other charges" seems to be the reality.

The U-20s get pumped again

Well, they did briefly 'return to winning ways', although now managed to lose at home to Partick Thistle. 3-0. A source tells GTBFO that some people are so concerned about Ian Durrant's stewardship that he could actually be demoted... yes, rumour has it that his "Working with Youngsters - 20" rating in FM16 is set to be lowered in the January update. You heard it here first.

McLeish wanted by Zamalek

Alex McLeish might be amount to move to Egypt, from which we can only surmise he wants to do an IRL version of that Football Manager challenge where you have to win the league in every continent. Well, a watered-down version, as the usual standard is winning the biggest continental competition. But he could yet have his moment of Champions League glory, who knows. What's the Arabic for long diagonals?

Glasgow amateur wrestler wakes up in Amsterdam after night out

Tempted to scream "FAAAAAAAAAAAKE" here, because why on earth film that, but it's just about believable. Perhaps the best one of these remains Peter O'Toole "going for a beer at one's local in Paris and waking up in Corsica." The last time GTBFO went for a beer in our local in Paris, we ended up in Northamptonshire, and got a text from the barmaid saying there were "men looking for you." We've still got a lot to learn about drinking, clearly. We'll get there.