Why is everybody praising Mark Warburton when Robbie Neilson did a better job? Why is the biased hun media talking about how great The Rangers are when Hearts got more points in that league? Why is everybody expecting Sevco to challenge for the title if they're not as good? You've probably heard some variation of these moronic questions from a load of idiots over the years, and, well, tomorrow will finally determine which side is indeed better.
Well, in a one-off game at Tynecastle, at least. Hearts have had an odd season - they made some eye-catching signings, started steadily, briefly looked terrifying in a 5-1 obliteration of Inverness, then completely fell apart in defence, but ended up fighting back from three goals down to draw against shite teams every weekend.
Oh, and to make matters more interesting, it'll probably be Neilson's last game in charge, with MK Dons calling. Whether that will galvanise or dismay our opponents remains to be seen. You'd probably say the latter, but guess what - there's no possible way of knowing before or after so we're going to say it'll do hee haw.
7:45pm GMT, 2:45pm ET
Hearts 9/5, Draw 5/2, Rangers 6/4.
Over 2.5 goals - 5/6
BT Sport 1 (UK/Ireland), Sportsnet World (Canada), FOX Soccer Plus (USA), beIN Sports 3 (Australia).
BT Sports Streaming (UK/Ireland), Sportsnet World Online (Canada), FOX Soccer 2Go (USA), Rangers TV (everywhere outside UK/Ireland).