Morning, fellow chosen ones. GTBFO always worries, doing this wee bit every morning, that it will run out of patter or be stuck on a day with nothing to write. Today, something even worse has happened, as the only things of any importance at all are some pretty harrowing stuff. Here's a Morning Roundup which wouldn't have been bleaker if we'd got Cormac McCarthy in to guest-edit it. Injuries! Police probes! The SPFL wanting to bring in a draft system! No movement on the transfer front! And are you sure you locked the door when you left the house this morning?
There's not a clearer source on this one other than Twitter, but it looks like Templeton will be out for another 3 months for a knee operation, and is presumably not going to be putting on a Rangers shirt again this season (except in the privacy of his own home.) A sad end to his spell at the club, but even with Mark Warburton, he was surely long beyond redemption. We'll have an update on this if we get a better source on it.
Mind we said this one would have a wee while longer of empty shouting about nothing to go?
Why? Oh, because their website had a mock-up of Michael O'Halloran in a Rangers shirt to illustrate the transfer rumours of the day. Aye, that's where we're at with this. That makes the back page of tomorrow's Sun, incredibly. I know Scottish football fans have an amazing capacity for irritability, but why are they annoyed about that? Do they not know how Photoshop works? Do they think he's been abducted and forced to wear a Rangers top against his will?
We should probably do a generator for this, but 'invite Northern Irish and Welsh teams to our cups to be facially-scanned by robots while watching a load of players acquired by a US-style draft system' would look unrealistic.
Well, at least that'll save us a few bob considering we have to pay for it for some reason now, presumably because since the oil prices have dropped and the steel industry has died, Scotland's third-biggest export is now Vines and this is the source of 80% of them. "Marred by drink-fuelled violence" indeed. It might as well be "marred by music" for how much of an integral part of it that is. Why can't we have some positive news about it for once? Where are all the 45ers demanding a stop to talking Scotland down, and wondering why we aren't getting headlines like "drink-fuelled violence at world-class levels once again at T in the Park, Police Scotland confirms"? Maybe we can ask them when we bump into each other at our respective protests at Pacific Quay.
Not that GTBFO ever goes, of course. GTBFO left its last music festival many years ago after a sudden, harrowing realisation that all music festivals are terrible hit in the middle of Wire finally proving the old "never meet your heroes, especially if they had their best days before 1995, in which case try to avoid seeing them or even hearing anything about them too" adage right (Ally McCoist had not yet taken over at Ibrox.) At the end of the day, you're sitting in the freezing cold, with a load of people you'd cross the street to avoid, watching something that isn't good anymore and looks and sounds better on Youtube anyway. We're still waiting on that same realisation to dawn on us for drinking, casual sex, and Rangers, but fortunately, those days haven't come yet.