A very good morning to all the Rangers fans out there. The lack of both football and things happening which will affect football in some meaningful way (rather than just "It'll be a tough came and we'll be looking for the three points" press conferences, or the SPFL's latest idea to invite One Direction to join the Petrofac Cup and play the final on the moon) is making the week drag a wee bit. It's not even until Monday, after the whole process of the weekend is over, that we'll be playing. Mr Warburton was right about the schedule not being very demanding, and while there's certainly a case to say English sides play far too many games, at least they're not stuck for something to do on a Wednesday evening (although viewers in Scotland are still free to make their weekly £20 donation to Coral.)
Christ, maybe the SPFL are right trying to mix it up. We're getting too old for this now, and the old 'get 16 teams in the league for a bit of variety!' idea seems a bit stale now you actually know what it's like to go to Livingston more than once. Please, Mr Warburton, buy someone or finally snap and call Alan Stubbs a dobber to brighten up our day.
Rangers ban the BBC and we all get a new fan representative
Rangers are in another row with the BBC after the Chris McLaughlin fiasco last year, but something weird happened. Martin Williams' Herald write-up also quoted 'Bears Fightback', an odd account to choose as representative of all Rangers fans given that it had existed for, er, three days. A few of Her Majesty's press, including familiar old faces like Graham Spiers, Jim Spence, Tom English and - ach, you know who I mean, those ones - dived in to say how terrible things were and how bad Rangers fans were being, represented as they were by a highly obscure days-old account. Anyway, the account then got deleted and presumably everybody will move on and forget the whole episo- nah, just joking. This is Scotland, pal. "Moving on" isn't in our dictionary. Expect a mountain of shite about this admittedly-infuriating but nonetheless wholly unimportant folderol to simmer throughout the day.
Mr Warburton talks about transfers and the academy
This is a rehashed press conference quote-a-thon, but it gives a good insight into where our manager's mind is right now.
And you will be pleased to know that Maciej Gostomski, our short-term Polish goalkeeper, "is a lively character that gets right amongst the banter", as you would expect for a man who was arrested for throwing pineapples. As long as he doesn't have the same pre-match ritual as certain other Polish keepers, we're sure he'll be fine (although much like
SPFL to probe incidents at Rangers and Hearts games
Presumably nothing will come of this, unless (never to be ruled out) they're actually shameless enough to try and paint it as some desperate reason why we need to End Scotland's Shame and treat everyone like a criminal. We're still waiting on any report on the Motherwell game last season, by the way.
How to get away with grabbing people's genitals without being invited
Three ways: You can go to boarding school, you can play rugby, or you can take the belt-and-braces approach and do both, as so many often do. After the shameful situation of seeing the latter 'sport' pollute our stadium during the Commonwealth Games last year, GTBFO believes Ibrox should adopt something like our brothers across the water at Croke Park's 'No Foreign Games' policy. Just for Rugby, of course, and, god help us if any of the people we follow on Twitter get their way, that American one where folk run into each other in spandex and inflatable suits for a few seconds in between ten minute long ad breaks, sort of like It's a Knockout as imagined by J.G. Ballard. Because that day will come. We've got to be vigilant.