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Morning roundup: Transfer delays, mystery strikers, and a gift to the American people

There's no updates to be had on the transfer front, while Crystal Palace might be scouting Martyn Waghorn in a highly incompetent manner and Barrie McKay's been speaking to the press.

Steve Pope/Getty Images

Happy Tuesday, brethren. We need a word, if you've got a wee minute. We hope you're enjoying the site and everything, but we'd like to invite you to step up your patronage to the next level. Not only would we like you to stick around and read what we have to say when we're not publishing 5 "Michael O'Halloran might be on his way or might not, idk" stories a day after the limelight of the January transfer window passes us by, but there's another thing you could do. Just - why not post a wee comment once in a while? What have you got to lose? Don't be shy. This site is designed to basically be a forum as well as a blog, and it only takes a second to sign up, nothing lengthy or weird. You could have some enlightening discussions, you could meet a new pal there, who knows. You might even meet the love of your life! And even better, it'll mean less work for us as the hits rack up from Celtic fans discussing the intricate details of tax law ad infinitum on every page. Think on!

No news on Michael O'Halloran and Toumani Diagouraga

Everybody was expecting something yesterday, but all today's papers are saying is that talks are ongoing. Even some form of confirmation today would be a pleasant surprise. This one's dragging like yer da when yer maw's away at the bingo. Keep up to date by following our Rangers Transfer News hub.

Barrie McKay hails Mr Warburton

Barrie McKay has claimed that he wasn't wanted under Coisty. Folk seem to have forgotten that the loan now being retold as a great sign of how time away from the club can help youth prospects was somewhat sullied by the thoughts of many Rovers fans that while McKay was obviously a talented youngster, he was also "the worst player to ever put on the shirt" and "absolute shite." It's unlikely a feat like this, someone going from a total basket case to our most effective player in the space of a few months, is going to be repeated. God bless Mr Warburton, because few other people would've given him the chance. We might get an update today on his contract, by the way, so stay tuned.

Crystal Palace chasing mystery transfer target

Apparently Crystal Palace, a team of considerable diddiness and unimaginable wealth, because that's the way the world works the day and you've got to put up with it, are apparently tracking a mystery SPFL striker. Is it Martyn Waghorn? Is it Leigh Griffiths? Forget that. The Palace chairman, Steve Parish, had a look (eh?) only to be told by his head scout "yes, he's ripped it up there, but there have been a lot of players who have ripped it up in that league who haven't done great here." Brilliant. That's the kind of expert insight £70m a year buys you. If our beloved Union has taught us one thing, it's that England is shite at everything unless they get Glaswegians to run it. No wonder the league's been pish since heroes like Alex Ferguson, David Moyes and Steve Kean left.

Trump threatens to abandon Scotland as UK debates banning him

Because we very much want to lend the website the feel of your local lodge meeting, GTBFO does not express any political opinions. GTBFO has, however, witnessed Trump's latest escapades, and noticed that everything terrible and brilliant about America are hand-me-downs from our own part of the world. Trump is of Scottish descent, but so was Neil Armstrong. We gave them fried chicken and much of the richness of Southern cuisine, but also lumbered them with McDonalds and Taco Bell. We apparently invented Gospel Music, fundamental to the formation of popular music in America, but nobody seems to mention that if that creates Bruce Springsteen then it also creates Rush. We founded the U.S. Navy, but then also founded the Imperial Japanese one to give them something to do. We gave them Alexander Hamilton, Ulysses S. Grant and Theodore Roosevelt, but also Ronald Reagan.

What we're getting at is - if Trump actually wins this thing, we're going to have to come up with someone pretty spectacular to give them to balance it out, and we're not exactly churning out the great statesmen, visionaries and warrior-poets like we once did. The closest thing we have now is probably that three vodka and cokes guy, and we probably can't even risk losing him.