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It's Friday! Only a few hours of phoning it in at your pointless job to go before you'll be free from your shackles at last, completely liberated from the tedium of the week's work and able to fulfil your life's passions, standing in the bitter cold trying to take a draw from a badly-rolled fag in gale-force freezing winds outside a rammed pub in Finnieston. Although statistically, we've actually had more hits on the site from London, so cheer up, it could be a lot worse. At least you're only using about twenty minutes worth of your working life for each pint. Have half a Tennent's on us by stealing 10 minutes of your bosses time to imbibe this hot, hot news.
Rangers still in pursuit of O'Halloran
The rumour that Celtic were about to pile in and snatch away Michael O'Halloran from Rangers' grasp doesn't seem to have been stood up, so it seems to be just us and Saints haggling over a fee. No word on how much closer we are, either, although we're expecting some form of update on it today.
Celtic could sign Steven Fletcher
We're so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so scared.
The date for the appeal over the tax case has been set, for the benefit any Celtic fans who are reading this missive, since nobody else has any interest in it whatsoever and it won't affect us in any way.
Everton look certain to sign Sam Byram
Yes, they do. Why should we care about some Yorkshire jobber moving to a mid-table English team? Because Byram is a right-back, and Leeds have been linked with James Tavernier, that's why. Steve Evans had denied a move would be made, but he was also coy about Byram leaving, so they might yet have a go.
How much of a nightmare is Dry January for British pubs?
GTBFO has never experienced the joy of touching the famous brick front of the lovely old front of Ibrox, of seeing the team led onto the pitch, the ecstasy of a last-minute winner or the tragedy of defeat from outside the cloud of a mortal hangover, because football matches are played early on Sundays and Saturdays. If you're participating in Dry January - get tae. Not only are you a vile pervert and pleasure-hating lunatic, but you're destroying our industry. Who saw January, being hurled back to drudging routine after two weeks of booze-fuelled feasting, at the coldest time of the year, and thought "Aye, this is the best time to do without the drink?" Puritanism hasn't been staunch since 1650, lads.